Divorce Letter

April 22, 2008 at 04:30 5 comments

Dear Wife,

I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever.

I’ve been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell.

Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home and didn’t even notice that I had a new
haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps.


You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife.


Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone.

Your EX-Husband

P.S. Don’t try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West
Virginia together! Have a great life!


Dear Ex-Husband,


Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.


It’s true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been.


I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn’t work.


I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’  Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment.


And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.


About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the
$49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning.


After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.


I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me.
So take care.



Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free!

P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born
Carlo. I hope that’s not a problem.



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5 Comments Add your own

  • 1. leli  |  April 22, 2008 at 09:54


  • 2. Pucca  |  April 22, 2008 at 12:00

    haha..lucu banget la 😀

  • 3. sofie  |  April 23, 2008 at 04:48

    bagusnya ni cerita dibaca sama satu artis cewek yg tadi pagi muncul di GO SPOT yg baru kena bogem suaminya …..waduh manda lupa sapa namanya, bisa jadi cerita2 kek gini bikin pencerahan mereka ya…..

    ****amit2 deh jangan sampe ya La?

    niwei, bole copy paste ga buat kirim email ke temen kantor? keknya seru niy buat lucu2an rabu ini, hahahhahaha

  • 4. luvly7  |  April 23, 2008 at 06:12

    @Leli&Viol : Ketawa siy ketawa, tapi jujur laki-bini mang sering miz undertanding kyk gene kan??? hehehehehhe

    @Sop : Boleh koq Sop … bikin orang laenketawa tuh ibadah juga pan :p

  • 5. Fun  |  October 24, 2008 at 10:27

    hehehehe bales2an.. duuhh tuh suami bakal nyesel abis dah 🙂


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Luvly7 ….

Cewek Keren Sedunia is her middle name ... Love travelling ,make friends, watch movie and sleep! Really wanna be slim without stop eating :) Be a famous TV presenter & MC is one of her biggest dream, and hopefully she still can reach it !!! You go girl !!



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